Top 5 BEST and WORST Housewives

To celebrate the return of the Real Housewives of NJ, and my inability to stop watching these damn shows!, enjoy my list of my favorite (and the most irritating) housewives of all time.....

TOP 5 BEST

	Lisa from RHOBH Queen Vanderpump will always reign supreme no matter what she does....throw in Ken, Giggy, and Brandy and she rules over the perfect Housewives kingdom.
	Bethany from RHONY I hold a special place in my heart for Bethany because I identify with her soooo much! Sarcastic, prone to putting their foot in their mouth, feelings of inferiority. Get it girl for making it to the top on your own! Laugh all the way to the bank.
	Kathy from RHONJ The most down to earth housewife ever and the only one you'd actually like to model your life after.....loving husband, respectful kids, great cook, able to not punch Theresa in the face...Class A woman.
	Heather from RHOC Just when I thought the OC was going completely off the rails, along comes sarcastic/smart Heather....bonus points for her absolutely GORGEOUS house.
	Yolanda from RHOBH My new favorite housewife....half of what she says leaves a big ? on your face...but the other half is so honest/direct (things that all housewives love to claim they are) that you can't help but respect her...plus - damn woman - you make me almost want to give the master cleanse a try.

TOP 5 WORST

	Teresa from RHONJ This one really needs no explanation - soooo deluded, sooooooo dumb, sooooooo much ugly fashion....please just kick her off!!
	Danielle from RHONJ I still can't get over Danielle....added nothing except headaches and awkward moments of terrible parenting....WHY do you make your 16 year old daughter go to her first OBGYN appointment on a TELEVISION SHOW!
	Alexis from RHOC Probably the dumbest of all the housewives I've ever seen.....the woman has no original thought in her brain or her ridiculously gigantic boobs. The self-righteousness, the blind support of her even dumber husband, the narcissism....thank god she's been relegated to the background this season. Nothing makes me happier then when Heather puts her in her place.
	Mikaela from RHODC I really didn't mind the DC franchise, except the glaring bleach blonde moron Mikaela and her con artist husband. Even leaving aside the "crashing the White House" fiasco, these two were just cringe-inducing every time they were onstage.
	The whole cast of Atlanta The most deluded/crazy/annoying bunch of housewives that EVER existed...and that is quite an accomplishment!

Top 10 Guiltiest Pleasures (TV Edition)

In honor of yet another day spent quarantined in my bedroom fighting off the never-ending plague of 2012, I present my Top 10 guiltiest pleasure TV shows - all perfectly suitable for sick days.  Feel free to leave your own secret shames in the comment section.

	Toddlers and Tiaras - I know, say what you want but trust me....Highly Questionable Parents + High Glitz = High Entertainment Value.
	Dance Moms - As fun as it is to watch the certifiable nutjob moms on this show, the best part hands down is watching the incredibly talented, and somehow still down-to-earth, girls perform at the end of each episode.
	Say Yes to the Dress - Vicarious way to live through all of those wedding fantasies little girls dream of....gentleman will never understand
	Pysch - Fact #1: Psych is now in it's 7th season Fact #2: I am still the only person I know who watches this show  Fact #3: Still have no idea why #2 is true. Dule Hill (aka Charlie from the West Wing), extremely random and obscure Pop Culture references, witty dialogue, Corbin Bernsen! - what more could you want?
	ANTM - Yes, I will still be watching Miss Banks when this show is in it's 50th cycle and the non-stop marathons on Oxygen
	Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders - Why doesn't every couple in America watch this show?  It's on every year when football season begins and features very scantily clad cheerleaders trying to make the team while being constantly told that they're too fat.  Something for everyone!
	Hoarders - Guaranteed to make your house seem 100% cleaner after each viewing, and the best motivator to finally throw out that stack of magazines collecting dust on your coffee table.
	Real Housewives of..... - I just don't know how to quit you!  Favorites are still Beverly Hills and New Jersey, but on a bad day any installment in the franchise will do, except for DC of course.
	Snapped - Should just be called "Crazy Bitches Kill their Husbands"....as Jon likes to say, they somehow turn 15 minutes of content into a 60 minute show mostly by adding some of the BEST stock footage shots you will ever see.  Our new "watch while we fall asleep" show
	Anything on ID Discovery - After having seen every Snapped episode at least 5 times, I have recently stumbled across the ID Discovery channel - which is basically 24 hours of nonstop murder mystery shows (Deadly Women, Evil Twins, Pretty Bad Girls) or as I like to think of it, "How to spot the Crazies in your Neighborhood"

I am right now watching "Nightmare Next Door" and will be for at least the next 8 hours before I drown myself in cold medicine for the night. Hope you have enjoyed the embarrassing contents of my DVR and be sure to stay tuned for more Guilty Pleasure lists this year!